You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.- Kid Cudi
I love the feeling you get when you haven’t eaten in a while, its like a buzz a small high if you will. The room starts spinning as you desperately try to find something, anything to hold on to before you sway and fall to the ground. I also enjoy the feeling of an empty stomach knowing your doing sooo well when your stomach growls back at you. It feels hallow, empty, and your not bloated so you feel like maybe just maybe you won’t have to eat ever again and you won’t be a failure. I noticed ever since i went from a size 19 to a size 8 the boys stop and stair at me, the girls too. I see the twinkle in their eyes, and I just blush smile, look down and frown. Because i know its all a bunch of fucking lies. I recently got off of my “LITTLE” diet since everyone was calling me anorexic…I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE MAKE EATING DISORDERS THE TOPIC AROUND THE TABLE AND THEN MAKE FUN OF YOU FOR EATING LITTLE TO NOTHING. fucking crist, stop…”help me” i try to scream it but it comes out as a fucking whisper that nobody but I can hear and understand. sometimes as i lay in bed and remember how much i’v eaten i wish i had that empty feeling, you know the feeling you get after you haven’t eaten all day,the feeling of your stomach starting to cave inwards as it tries to eat its self…Fuckk looks like I’m done eating again.